Saturday, December 29, 2012

Enduring thoughts

It has been over two weeks since Chris has gone into heaven...the longest I have been away from him in 12 years. As you can imagine I am dealing with extreme grief and doing my best just to get through the day and allow myself to feel the depth of the man that I lost. There is so much I could say about Chris, and those that know me, know how deeply we loved one another. At the risk of being too personal and sharing too many details, I had it on my heart to share the letter I wrote from the bulletin for Chris' memorial. I know some of you couldn't be there, and I myself have been rereading what was written as a reminder. I wrote it as if it was from Chris and I because I know he would have  echoed the same thoughts. So, here goes...

The Gospel is the greatest love story that has ever been and will continue to be. The Gospel is a story of creation, inspiration, agony and the pursuit of romance. In God's own Son is the display of his out of proportion love for us. His suffering is our healing. His death is our death. His life is our life. Everything He has done for us was for Love. Chris' life, and  death revealed the gospel to me deeper than the lowest valley and higher than the tallest mountain. Chris mirrored to me the lengths that a lover will go to for his bride. He served me in every way I could have ever wanted. He revealed his heart of love for me and His children on a daily basis. In his suffering he continued to love, even deeper still. His thoughts were always towards me and our children. Chris fought and lived with bravery, endurance, patience and strength. He surrendered his life to God and to others wholeheartedly, unselfishly, without an expected return. His life was the most beautiful thing to witness. He was and will always be a masterpiece. 
Chris has given me the greatest gift I could ever ask for. He showed me the love of God in such a tangible way that will mark me and countless others for the rest of eternity. The same can be said of Chris as a father. A father will do anything for his children, and I too saw this in his life. Chris had a father's heart the size of an couldn't measure the love.
I do not pretend to understand everything that has happened to us. Romance is not a neatly wrapped package. Love cannot always be explained. It is felt, received, and displayed. All I know is, through the pain, there is one amazing love story that will live forever in our hearts.

That is the story I know with all of my heart Chris would want us all to be left with. Let us not in our pain, misinterpret what has happened to this wonderful man, Christopher Neal Underwood. This mystery, however perplexing it may be, is a treasure to be guarded, unwrapped and discovered throughout eternity.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Our latest with love.

Hello everyone,
I wanted to give you all an update on Chris' progress and let you in on how we are doing!  We just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary yesterday. We were actually able to go out of town to a place very special to us, Apple Hill. We took the kids, and stayed with my parents for three nights. As you can imagine, we haven't been out of town, let alone out of the house very much at all in the past month & a half, so this provided us with so much rejuvenation and encouragement. We were able to enjoy the outdoors more, and still get the rest that is needed for us right now. I am now in my third trimester, and I am doing great, but I definitely am starting to feel more pregnant!  I think I am also entering that nesting phase…ready to tackle the nursery and get our house in order for Benjamin!

We mentioned to you all before that Chris was offered little to no hope with traditional medical treatments, such as radiation, chemo. even other clinical trials that had been previously offered to us. The thought was that this would only provide a very temporary solution--if it worked at all. Looking back on this short time, we are actually thankful for that, because we feel the Lord has led us in another direction which is to treat Chris at home, naturally, through nutrition, supplements, etc. At the end of the day, you have to go with what the Lord is speaking to you, and we have felt led in this direction. We know that the human body is amazing and designed with an amazing capacity to heal, restore, fight disease. We feel the largest weapon we have and continue to have is prayer! We know so many of you are standing with us--daily, moment by moment even! This is amazing and good things are happening!

Two of the main things we are thankful for right now is that Chris' energy level is improving steadily. He is not ready to run a marathon yet--but he has much more time standing up, walking around, engaging, wanting to get outside, etc. This is a huge improvement from just a few weeks ago where he needed several naps a day, and mostly had to rest in the chair or bed. Also, he had little to no desire to eat and we had to stay on top of offering him food even when he didn't want it. Now, he is enjoying food more, a bit of a wider variety, and expressing desire for certain things that had no appeal before. He is still not ready for wings and beer….but that is for the best right now….hahahahaha

So, good things are happening. Prayers are being answered and we are continuing to be encouraged by you all, and mostly by our Father.  We continue to be humbled, taken back at the love and support we have been shown from people all over the globe! People coming together and uniting on our behalf, so much generosity, it is unreal!!!! We adore you all…can't wait to share more good news!

Chris and Amy