Saturday, November 10, 2012

His banner over me is Love.

So Amy and I have been walking through a difficult few months that have seemed as years! It seemed for a while we were getting a bad report from some doctor about everyday. Sorting these reports through the lens of heaven became top priority. 

We have realized that what we do with these circumstances in our minds will change everything. Do I know what this healing is going to look like? Do I know how all of this is going to come together? No, I don't.  But I was promised by the Lord, through His word, a perfectly stitched, masterful, life changing journey for myself and loved ones walking through this with me. If you look to the Source, honestly and candidly you will see nothing but the love of a good Father pouring out on you like honey. 

There are obviously different ways a heart can handle this level of adversity, and different negative modes of thinking that can be adopted before you even realize they rang your doorbell. Worry and fear are the two most unwelcome houseguests. Amy and I have gotten better and better at recognizing those suckers at the door, and not letting them join our party. There is no fruit to worry. There is no helpfulness in fear. There is no fear in love. These are only devices that keep you from becoming the full potential of who you were dreamed up to be before the world was made. God IS NOT worried about the cancer cells in my body. He knows me and is a deeply loving Father who is intimately connected to my physical & emotional pain, concerns, frustrations and He is well aware that I really have no idea about any of what's going on. He has walked me through each one of these 'contradictions' with love, grace and compassion. The first question that often bubbles up in my mind when these contradictions happen is, "I thought you were a good God! How could you let this happen!?" It is an honest statement, and a great opener for the Father to start communicating His love and perfect acceptance of me. The more we know who the actual person of God is, who Jesus is, trust floods our hearts and we are able to sleep in the storm. 

Impossible situations need supernatural grace to get through, and I can fully and wholeheartedly testify that Jesus himself and his act of restoring the open relationship between God and man IS ENOUGH. Has my last 2 months been hard? Yes. But I have seen the face of God in work colleagues, dear friends, family and total strangers. This has changed me forever and given me a glimpse into the family of God. 

The truth that I am coming to is that even though the doctors tell me I am dying (you're right, I don't believe them either) I am more alive now than I ever have been. There is a joy and rest that comes from knowing that you will never be left hung out to dry and alone. This is something to feel alive about. 

Everyone's concern, care and generosity has floored myself and my family. Deep thanks for choosing to be on this journey with us. I believe that we all will share in a celebration coming. 


"And He asked them, But who do you yourselves say that I am? Peter replied to Him, You are the Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). " Mark 8:29 Amplified
"He said to them, But who do you [yourselves] say that I am? Simon Peter replied, You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God. Then Jesus answered him, Blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) are you, Simon Bar-Jonah. For flesh and blood [men] have not revealed this to you, but My Father Who is in heaven." Matthew 16:15-18 Amplified
How we ourselves answer this question changes everything...

"There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection]." 1John 4:18

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control." 
1Timothy 1:7

1 comment:

  1. I love my Jesus more having read your entry...and am praying for you and Amy with glorious anticipation! Bless you!